Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Early...So Early

First off....i must say that I NEVER thought I would ever write a blog. But, at the urging of a good friend, I decided to give it a try (thanks Val)!

My lovely wife and I have been trying to have a baby for a while now, and it has been an adventure to say the least!! Ever since I can remember I have only wanted 1 thing...not a million dollars (although that would be pretty sweet) - I've always wanted to be a dad and have a family. My family means everything to me....always has, and always will! So the idea of starting a family had me so excited!!!

Home Pregnancy Tests can change your life, and also make you miserable for weeks on end! Unfortunately, for the first few months of trying we were completely miserable upon reading the results. Thoughts would creep into our heads that we may never become parents, and that it just wont happen for us...It made our days long, and our nights even longer with the lack of sleep! Christine and I are planners and tend to worry a lot...So having this weigh on us was pretty hard!

There were always constant reminders that we were NOT having a baby, and that EVERYONE else was...There were more pregnant women around us wherever we went than ever before!! The waitresses we had for dinner were pregnant, most of our bridesmaids from our wedding were either pregnant or had just had a child, and every time the phone rang - SOMEONE WAS PREGNANT! I told Christine that we shouldn't answer the phone anymore! Don't get me wrong...We were always so excited for those around us...but inside it was tough!

But I am happy to report...that on September 14th, at 4:30am (Yes, you are reading that correctly - 4 in the morning! Christine set her alarm for early in the morning since it was a Monday and she would have to prepare herself for work if it was a negative test)...my wife was screaming for me to come into the bathroom..."PREGNANT" was shown on the test as clear as day...After i cried like a little girl...I said to my wife, "Now what are we going to do?" It was a joke of course, but I sort of meant it! How was I going to be a dad? My dad was (and still is) a hero to me, and now I am supposed to be that for my child?! Truth be told - I can't wait to attempt to be as great to my kids as my parents were (and are) to me, but the pressure is there, and the bar is high!!

Seeing the heartbeat at our week 6 appointment was easily the coolest thing I have ever seen. The early stages of pregnancy are scary times! I'm reminded of the line from The Santa Clause (I will be quoting movies often on here), "Ever seen a Million Dollars? Well, just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist!" Well, before our 6 week appointment - I wasn't seeing anything, and I was constantly asking - "are we still pregnant?" The test says you are pregnant, but she doesn't feel pregnant, and she looks the same - so, are we pregnant?? Well, seeing the heartbeat made a believer out of me! There is something alive and growing inside of my wife...WOW! It's easy to blow it off when someone tells you how magical of a time it is, but trust me - it is!

I will be updating this blog from time to time to let everyone know whats happening (whether you care or not!)...After Val mentioned this to me, I thought about it and agreed that it will be a good way to document the process and give everyone a few laughs from time to time!!

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